it has surpassed being skin deep - it’s further than that.
the first time it hit me right past the skin. I felt it festering there like a rash that itched and irritated and reddened.
the second time it went into my bones. it sunk and covered and soaked my structure.
this time it’s different
this time it’s surpassed my skin, and my bones
this time it is in my marrow. it has enveloped my entire body in a coat of black oil that does not wash away. this time it’s fighting and pushing and clawing. I can feel it this time.
this time it’s taking away the things I smile at, it’s taking away the things I laugh at, it’s taking away the things I love. I’m drowning in it.
Lord, I hope next time it doesn’t invade my soul.
One of the most frustrating parts of my relationship is that my boyfriend can’t understand feminism.
Him: Don’t be so loud and crazy in public.
(behaviour most people typically find charming)
me: Why, I’m just being myself?
Him: Someone might get annoyed with you and then I’ll have to take care of it.
Me: That has yet to happen, and I can take care of myself.
Him: Yeah, but I’m the guy, I’ll have to do it anyway or else you’ll get hurt.